Seaching Though Sears
Once upon a time on the sidewalk
A slithering, crummy bum he did appear
And you what do you think he had in his briefcase?
A dehydrated can of beer attached to a queer
Searching, searching, searching thorugh Sears
What can we buy today?
A pig and a cow and a bushel of hay
Look at this underwear
It's a value beyond compare
I'll take it home and set it up in a chair
Every time I got into K-Mart's
They try to put a price-tag on my head
And every time I drive through North Olmsted
[I go into the Gap]
That's why I'm
Searching, searching, searching thorugh Sears
Every time I go into Higby's
They try to slip the handcuffs on my wrists
And every time I turn on the TV
I wish I was Mr. Ed
Searching, searching, searching thorugh Sears
Searching, searching, searching thorugh Sears
What can we buy today?
A pig and a cow and a bushel of hay
Look at this underwear
It's a value beyond compare
I'll take home and set it up in a chair
Every time I go to Brown Derby
They try to make me give back what I stole
And every time I visit the cemetery
I fall into a hole
That's why I'm
Searching, searching, searching thorugh Sears
Searching, searching, searching thorugh Sears
Searching for values at Sears
Love Meant To Die
[Dave E.] Well, Dan
[?] He just wrote this on the way down
[Dan] He, Dave wrote us a song on the way down
[Dave E.] Dan, you're really kinda putting me on the spot right now -
[Dan] I know
[Dave E.] But - I am - I Do have here in my hand a piece of paper, and on it -
[Dan] No, go, yeah
[Dave E.] On it is a song which I just wrote, which is going to be released on my new record label 'Christmas Pets' -
[Dan] I love the name
[Dave E.] It's called 'A Love Meant To Die'. Would you like to hear it?
[Dan] Yeah, I'd like to hear it
[Dave E.] It's called 'A Love Meant To Die'
[Dan] Okay
Day after day
We've been taking each other's places
I tried so hard
To live with a love that was meant to die
An unmade bed and you wish you were dead
Won't something come along and take this pain away
Oh no, oh no, not today
Scream inside a dream
All Creation loves a liar
I tried so hard
To make my life just incomplete
An enormous wardrobe of dirty clothes
In which every fault and imperfection shows
An unmade grave and a guy named Dave
And out in the sky flies a love that was meant to die
Psychology 101
I know something about love
I know what that word means
I looked it up in the dictionary
I memorized it clearly
'A state of emotional excitement
In which a guy chases after a girl he should be running from
The only reason he doesn't know this, is that
technically speaking
he's just too dumb'
I had a very nice girlfriend
I thought we couldn't miss
She said 'I'll see you tomorrow'
Then she ran off with her psychiatrist
It's 'A state of emotional excitement
In which a guy chases after a girl he should be running from
The only reason he doesn't know this, is that
technically speaking
he's just too dumb'
If you had some money
Where would you go?
Probably nowhere
And probably you know it
My brain is floating in a jar
'Cause I met my baby down at the weird bar
My guess is as good as a monkey's
I've been wrong a thousand times before
But I still think that something is funky
When you get spit at as soon as you open the door
Now I want you to listen to this very carefully
When your girlfriend has a brain like a Mexican jumping bean
Don't expect it to last for too long
I called up my girlfriend at Parma
They told me that she's in Hong Kong
